Wouldn't it make so much more sense to just fade.. fade away into oblivion.
Days and times like these..
I wonder.
- Mood:
calm - Music:Autumns Monologue - From Autumn to Ashes
- Mood: touched
- Music:Sex and the City
crawling
sliding
in an
empty
space
in a
world of
white
trying to
breathe
through ashes
burnt
from memories
and I wonder
how
to break her
like the flower petals
crushed
beneath the
pain.
- Mood:
lonely - Music:Shousou - Byousoku 5cm
a lone raven took flight
joining its playmates in the blanket of shadow.
A lil' girl gazed on
standing amidst a sea of shivering gold
indifferent to the malaise of the wind's teeth.
Shriveled and withered
her soul crouched in a corner of what seems to be the remains of her heart
a misshapen lump.
A silent scream is let out from the cell beside
hysterical
delusional
dysfunctional.
Fall through the dead air
spiraling downwards
blinded by the cacophony of the battle between
Dark and Light
Black and White.
Cascading beads of red stain the alabaster skin
as the ravens pecked at the luscious fruits in hunger
their search complete.
The perfectly moulded plaster cracked with each hit
a small piece of happiness
a large piece of love
turned to dust.
And underneath lay a skeletal Despair
waiting in the sea of ash
with a sunflower in her hand
that has long passed expiry.
- Mood:
blank - Music:What I've Done - Linkin Park
/edit
Ooo and I found the second part to it!
xposted to P.
- Mood: amused
- Music:rain, and more rain
Each night.. the german doll dies a lil' bit inside.
and she sits by the rotting window
watching the pearly white raindrops fall
pitter
patter
pitter
patter
feeding the Crimson Blooms beneath.
The thorns.
Clutched tight by the lifeless hand.
- Mood: depressed
- Music:The End Where I Begin - The Script
I'm totally floored. But there is no way in hell. That I could ever afford this baby. Not even if I auctioned my sorry ass. Not to mention the Franck Muller is even more of a laughable dream than this is. I can't even grab a picture of it anywhere now. Le sigh.
- Mood:
sleepy - Music:total silence
The rage is brewing.
That simmering heat.
Excluded.
Taken for granted.
Why should I care when no one does.
Why do I.
Why should I.
Breathe. The shit is about to hit the fan. Don't. Just a bit more. Just a bit more to the end. Hold it in.
- Mood:
angry - Music:Mad World - Gary Jules
Nowhere. Nothing. Noone.
- Mood: numb
- Music:If Everyone Cared - Nickelback
Gotta log more of happy things. Things are slowly working out aren't they? Right?
- Mood: calm
- Music:sprayers
I need that pain.
- Mood:
contemplative - Music:Secret Poets - Last Friends OST
I can't even begin to explain how happy I am. =3
- Mood: chipper
- Music:the fan whirring
It feels like I've fallen off the face of Earth. Haven't been out, haven't been talking to people, haven't been here. The only thing that I have failed to stay away from are my own vices.
Another 6 days. Just another 6 more days and I'll be allowed to breathe. Just me and my disordered self. Just the way I want it to be.
But I'm waiting.
Waiting for the frozen flow of my time to start moving again.
いつでも捜してしまう どっかに君の笑顔を
急行待ちの 踏切あたり
こんなとこにいるはずもないのに
命が繰り返すならば 何度も君のもとへ
欲しいものなど もう何もない
君のほかに大切なものなど
- Music:One more time, One more chance - Masayoshi Yamazaki
I wonder if anyone would be interested to buy off this loli set (right side) . T__T It's still in extremely good condition.
There's still so much punk vests, blouses and skirts lying around in my closet which I have no idea what to do with them?!!?! SGCafe's market can't be accessed and I don't really wanna sell it on ebay since I'm too lazy to do the shipping. What now? Maybe I really should put them up on ebay.
Shiiiiiiiit.
How else to fill that emptiness of a trillion cookies and keep my sanity intact. Right. A trillion cookies. Someone save me from my own demise.
- Mood:
gloomy - Music:Beau Soir - Debussy
You Are "enter" |
 Some people might try to say you're impulsive and rash. You like to consider yourself decisive and committed instead. You don't have a lot of trouble making very final decisions. You trust your instincts, and you don't waver. You just go for it! |
.............. Long day. Endlessly long. Everyday seems to drag by.
Watching the hours crawl, listening to every second tick by.
I really should get some sleep. Do something. Go somewhere.
- Mood: indifferent
- Music:Meefisshu no Uta, Koi Gara no Suihou - Ayabie
Looking back, the past yr was just a blur of tears, screams and white haze, punctured with bouts of fake happiness. But this is a brand new yr, a brand new start. This especially goes out to my girls (you guys know who you are), time to be resolute 'bout recovery goals!
And.... I leave you with something.
________________________________________
"You Begin"
-- Margaret Atwood
You begin this way:
this is your hand,
this is your eye,
that is a fish, blue and flat
on the paper, almost
the shape of an eye.
This is your mouth, this is an O
or a moon, whichever
you like. This is yellow.
Outside the window
is the rain, green
because it is summer, and beyond that
the trees and then the world,
which is round and has only
the colors of these nine crayons.
This is the world, which is fuller
and more difficult to learn than I have said.
You are right to smudge it that way
with the red and then
the orange: the world burns.
Once you have learned these words
you will learn that there are more
words than you can ever learn.
The word hand floats above your hand
like a small cloud over a lake.
The word hand anchors
your hand to this table,
your hand is a warm stone
I hold between two words.
This is your hand, these are my hands, this is the world,
which is round but not flat and has more colors
than we can see.
It begins, it has an end,
this is what you will
come back to, this is your hand.
- Mood: calm
- Music:raindrops
Found in the "Kullak sketchbook", one of Beethoven's pages documenting his ideas, notes and musical fragments, McCallum noticed the 32 bars piece, or what he terms "Bagatelle in F minor", in the middle of the Beethoven's sketches of the String Quartet Op. 135.
The piece is believed to be written in October 1826, a few months before Beethoven passed on in March 1827.
Transcribed by McCallum, his pianist wife, Stephanie, made the first recording of the mere 54 seconds piece.
- Mood: okay
- Music:Bagatelle in F minor - Stephanie McCallum
Before I go into my usual drawl about my condition that never seems to get better, this is one person that made a whole lot prettier.
Emil.
Well he's flying back to SG permanently as of tomorrow and.. Yea. I'm missing him already. 
Went for a walk at North Lake and Bibra Lake just to spend some time together and absorb Perth's beauty in the last few moments. 
Went to Mandurah yesterday for crabbing as well. But the wind was too strong and the weather too cold. =( But hell no I would wanna go crabbing again when it's 39°C. 
We didn't manage to stay for the sunset 'cos.. just wanted to grab food (no crabs). The last time I came crabbing, the sunset was breath-taking. I wish I had my camera with me then. Darn. That said, it's still a beautiful place. Totally. Lovely. Just stood in the waters for the longest time listening to the whistling wind while Emil flirted with the fish and crabs. 
My favourite shot. =)
Although things hasn't been stellar for me and I'm struggling to just breath, I'm fortunate. Darn fortunate to have him around. He is the only person who has seen my good, my bad, my ugly.. and crazy. And he's the only person who has walked through all the shit with me, the only person who cares enough to be truely gentle when I break, and to screw me over in anger when I don't love myself. He's the only one who has tried his best to protect me from harming myself although it didn't help much BUT! He cares enough to try. Without him, I'm sure I'd be one hell of a basket case, more so a wreck. And for that, I'm truly thankful to God who allowed me to meet him.
Unbeknownst to others and probably to him, my very grey world, has a rainbow 'cos of him. I do not have to put up a facade that I'm a ball of sunshine. I cry when I'm sad, I snap when I'm mad. I let myself go when I lose myself. I'm myself when I'm with him, The bimbo I am. XD
And with that, I end this entry dedicated to this very much treasured person. I cannot say anymore thanks.
- Mood: calm
- Music:Through the Years and Far Away - Tenmon, 星の声 OST
"I think we can’t go ’round measuring our goodness by what we don’t do, what we deny ourselves, what we resist, and who we exclude. I think we’ve got to measure goodness by what we embrace, what we create, and who we include."
-- Chocolat (2000)
- Mood:
full - Music:Only Hope - Mandy Moore
#C71585 |
Your dominant hues are red and magenta. You love doing your own thing and going on your own adventures, but there are close friends you know you just can't leave behind. You can influence others on days when you're patient, but most times you just want to go out, have fun, and do your own thing. Your saturation level is high - you get into life and have a strong personality. Everyone you meet will either love you or hate you - either way, your goal is to get them to change the world with you. You are very hard working and don't have much patience for people without your initiative. Your outlook on life is brighter than most people's. You like the idea of influencing things for the better and find hope in situations where others might give up. You're not exactly a bouncy sunshine but things in your world generally look up. |
- Mood:
awake - Music:windchimes & gawking of ravens
Profile
![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif)
carousel_dream- Autymn Joan
Syndicate
